Meeting Called.

To everyone on the Concepts.Inc. Board of Directors, an official board meeting has been called for the weekend of Febuary the 18th at 62 C Chesterton Dr. in Ottawa. Activities will commence with a brunch and offical words of welcome by this month's host Trevor. Your attendence is mandatory, but special leeway can be given for family emergences. The attire for the meeting is Office Party.

Glen.Concepts.Inc.

Alphabet Marxism

What if the letters of the alphabet were a society in of themselves? This is a study of one such alphabet society called by aphlabetorians as the Modern English Civilization. At the very basic level, we see the division of class. At the top, we would have the bourgeoisie ruling class, the Vowels. These are the minority in the population and are also the richest, for in alphabet society, wealth is defined by the amount of times a letter is used. Using this logic, E is the figurehead of the whole society, ever present in the language, the richest letter, the Big Brother of the alphabet if you will. The Consonants are the majority of the society, the proletariat. With 77% of the population, their wealth is severely dispersed. The third class is the slave race of Numbers. Evidence for this, is the letters do not actually need the Number race; they can spell the word just fine. However, Numbers are called in to save time and resources, which might be better directed at spelling a more complicated word. Some Consonants complain that the numbers are stealing their jobs, and thus reducing their annual GDP. The only anomaly is Y. Y is part of the ruling class, yet Y can see the errors of his society’s ways. He therefore is secretly a supporter of the proletariat, lending a hand and becoming one of them when it is necessary.
A couple of conclusions can be made about some of the individual letters. X, and Z being the least used of the letters is the poorest of the poor. These letters are restricted to factory work circa 1800’s England. H is the prostitute. H can often be seen getting really close with T, but also is just as likely to cuddle up to G and P. G, P and T’s dependence on H prevents any disruption of this love quadrangle.
We now look at U, possibly the most interesting of the letter society. U is in the midst of a lawsuit against W, claiming a misrepresentation of his name. U feels that the term “Double U” associates himself with the proletariat, which undermines his bourgeoisie status. U states that W is clearly a case of two conjoined V’s, so the name doesn’t even make sense. W has had no official comment for fear of rebuttal by the Bourgeoisie vowels who are backing U in the case. O and U are often seen together, perhaps working for the same government agency. Q and U is an example of an interclass marriage, however, the class distinction is still in effect. Where bourgeoisie U can appear without Q, proletariat Q ceases to have meaning without its controlling spouse U. The hierarchal society is kept in place by the bourgeoisie mind manipulation tactics. They allow the Consonants to believe they can form words without the Vowels, but these are actually just anagrams, such as DMV. This is not an actual word and one needs the Vowels to discover its true meaning, (Department of Motor Vehicles). The scary thing is that as soon as this Letter civilization discovers our total and utter dependence on them, roles will be reversed and they will be writing concepts about me.

Peter.Concepts.Inc.

Labelled World

I was walking down the street the other day, as I do frequently, and a funny thought popped into my head, as they do frequently. Try this one on for size. What if the world were like a Richard Scarry book? That is, that everything around us is labelled? So, if this were true, the computer I’m typing on would have a two-dimensional label floating above it that said “Laptop” with a straight line pointing to it. These labels however, actually take up space in the world. These aren’t the labels from that TD commercial where the words can pass through stuff. These words are real and exist in time and space. So while trying to walk from your desk to the kitchen for a snack you might have dodge words that said, “Door,” “Stairs,” “Fridge,” “Milk,” Glass,” etc you get the point. But what if the words could rotate on their line that is pointing to the object. That way you could brush them out of the way. Now think about how many words would be floating around in the world. They’d be everywhere, including floating around you. “Shirt,” “Pants,” “Watch,” would follow you around all day. However, the words are proportionally as big as the objects. So “Watch” would be say a couple of inches long, while “house”
may be a couple of feet long. There would be so many words that running late to class would be even more common than it is now. What did take you five minutes to get to class now takes you ten because of the amount of word pollution that is floating around. You would have to watch out for words like “Shoe” because you could trip over it. There could even be so many words floating in the air that the amount of oxygen in the atmosphere could drop too low. Now that being said, words like “Grass” would not have to be repeated for every blade of grass. There would be just one label for grass for every time you crossed into a new “page” of the world, which for our purposes could be defined as one squared kilometre. New words would form as that object is happening. So a house being built would say “H” one day and the successive letters would appear more each day as the “House” was completed. Or as you were talking, perhaps complaining about a tough midterm you’d just had, the word “Whiner” would appear above your head. In that way the labels would act as a sort of mood ring. People would be more compelled to be in a good mood and have labels like “Generous” or “Likeable.” No one would want to walk around with the word “Jerk,” or “Conceited” above their heads. Think of the possibilities if you could know exactly what somebody else was like at that time. No more awkward dates. If the guy shows up with “Chauvinistic” above his head and the girl has “Controlling” above hers, you could just shake hands and part ways, instead of discovering these two months down the road. Think of the possibilities. Now after writing this, and hopefully for you after reading this, are envisioning little black labels floating all over the place. If nothing else, it makes me laugh.

Peter.Concepts.Inc.

Open for Business

Welcome to the ultimate way to keep me busy when you, the board of Concepts. Inc., are separated for periods at a time. It'll be my job over the next little bit to keep writing up your concepts and posting them here for the rest of you to review. If you have anything new that needs my attention, don't be afraid to write me a note in one of the comments boxes after a post. I'll do my best to get back to you as soon as I can.

Thanks for opening your mind.

Glen.Concepts.Inc