Alphabet Marxism

What if the letters of the alphabet were a society in of themselves? This is a study of one such alphabet society called by aphlabetorians as the Modern English Civilization. At the very basic level, we see the division of class. At the top, we would have the bourgeoisie ruling class, the Vowels. These are the minority in the population and are also the richest, for in alphabet society, wealth is defined by the amount of times a letter is used. Using this logic, E is the figurehead of the whole society, ever present in the language, the richest letter, the Big Brother of the alphabet if you will. The Consonants are the majority of the society, the proletariat. With 77% of the population, their wealth is severely dispersed. The third class is the slave race of Numbers. Evidence for this, is the letters do not actually need the Number race; they can spell the word just fine. However, Numbers are called in to save time and resources, which might be better directed at spelling a more complicated word. Some Consonants complain that the numbers are stealing their jobs, and thus reducing their annual GDP. The only anomaly is Y. Y is part of the ruling class, yet Y can see the errors of his society’s ways. He therefore is secretly a supporter of the proletariat, lending a hand and becoming one of them when it is necessary.
A couple of conclusions can be made about some of the individual letters. X, and Z being the least used of the letters is the poorest of the poor. These letters are restricted to factory work circa 1800’s England. H is the prostitute. H can often be seen getting really close with T, but also is just as likely to cuddle up to G and P. G, P and T’s dependence on H prevents any disruption of this love quadrangle.
We now look at U, possibly the most interesting of the letter society. U is in the midst of a lawsuit against W, claiming a misrepresentation of his name. U feels that the term “Double U” associates himself with the proletariat, which undermines his bourgeoisie status. U states that W is clearly a case of two conjoined V’s, so the name doesn’t even make sense. W has had no official comment for fear of rebuttal by the Bourgeoisie vowels who are backing U in the case. O and U are often seen together, perhaps working for the same government agency. Q and U is an example of an interclass marriage, however, the class distinction is still in effect. Where bourgeoisie U can appear without Q, proletariat Q ceases to have meaning without its controlling spouse U. The hierarchal society is kept in place by the bourgeoisie mind manipulation tactics. They allow the Consonants to believe they can form words without the Vowels, but these are actually just anagrams, such as DMV. This is not an actual word and one needs the Vowels to discover its true meaning, (Department of Motor Vehicles). The scary thing is that as soon as this Letter civilization discovers our total and utter dependence on them, roles will be reversed and they will be writing concepts about me.

Peter.Concepts.Inc.