Why Ketchup? Why Not Mustard?
In the age old quest of “Ketchup or Mustard” we must look in-depth, at the molecular level, to find an answer to this endeavor. The color of the substance is the first chapter of a 311 chapter novel of ketchup and or mustard. The color red is over powering to the minuscule yellow of mustard. Red means STOP in the trinomial traffic patterns where as yellow is only the caution and is less important. Numerous times while investigating traffic patterns on my free time, I noticed 44% of the time a driver while speed up through yellow but only 3% of the time the driver will speed through red. This is a factor that stresses the important of a red color being pursued. The Kool-Aid Jug in a majority of cool aid commercials is also red. This Kool-Aid Jug is only a marketing tool but if it was to fight another yellow marketing tool such as a Big Bird from Sesame Street it would most likely win. The bird may fly away, but in an overall fight the bird would most likely drown in the sweet, sweet, beverage we like to call Kool-Aid.
The reassurance of a tomato gives ketchup a more tradition family feel. Though there has been some grade 4-6 playground controversy over the fruit or vegetable topic and many kids have lost there milk in a bet, only to discover it is in fact a fruit. The connection of tomato and ketchup is a tradition where as the mustard comes from what? Who knows? In a study performed in 1977 by Doctor C. Kichojoclia it was concluded that kids were more likely to perform brain surgery then to understand the principle of where mustard was made from. The lack of comfort of eating food that is unknown is like eating blindfolded, you never know what you are going to get. That is why you always choose the comfort of BIG RED.
The strategic design of the thin red bottle makes for easy placement in the condiment shelf along with salad dressing and BBQ sauce. The awkward overweight yellow bottle is just too big. It does not fit along with the others. It gets shoved to the back with last week’s leftovers hardly to be used. Are you in a rush, are you looking for something to add to you hotdog in 3 seconds or less? Just reach for the reliable BIG RED its close by. In conclusion through my 6hr investigation I fully can conclude that ketchup would beat mustard in every competition except for which one is yellow and mustard would only win 2 out of 5 times in that competition
Evan.Concepts.Inc.
posted by Glen. @ 9:10 PM
3 comments
3 Comments:
Poor old relish. Looks like he's screwed either way
Jay.Concepts.Inc
I disagree, I think relish has it great. It is green for GO, in the trinomial traffic signal system, and it is also made of something tangible, pickles. It used to be left out in the back of the fridge in is round glass jar, but now manufacturers' have leveled the playing ground and created ketchup-like bottles where relish can be squeezed out, instead of awkwardly spooned out. I also think the name relish has a good feeling associated with it. Perhaps relish's slogan should be "Just Relish in it." Contrary to prior belief that only ketchup and mustard play the main role of condiments of choice, I think relish is ready and capable of being in the spotlight.
Firstly, excellent extrapolation of the ketchup-mustard dichotomy Evan. As far as this relish thing goes, several good points were raised: it has a good name ('relish'), it is green, and it is fairly common knowledge that it is made out of the familiar 'pickle'. Is it possible, however, that the general condiment consumer dislikes it for these reasons? Maybe people like the mystery behind ketchup and the even greater mystery behind mustard. This makes sense. People like the mysteries of aliens and sasquatches - both Alf and Harry and the Hendersons were popular sitcoms featuring aliens and sasquatch respectively.
To tie this back into the issue, I think mustard is the greatest of all. Even though there is a bit of mystery behind ketchup, we know it is from a tomato in some way and sort of tastes like one. What does mustard tast like? . . . only more mustard. It is the most mysterious of all condiments and, therefore, the greatest. David Copperfield is pretty mysterious and he is the greatest of all humans. This argument simply just has to be transfered to the realm of condiments and the truth emerges.
ross.concepts.inc.
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